I was with a friend who was dying from leukemia and then with her husband and adult sons after her passing. She and her husband were one of those lucky couples who totally adored each other, from the day they...
Read MoreHelping Partners Cope with Illness — Barbara’s Blog
A place for couples dealing with illness to find resources and advice, hear stories, and discover support. Whether the illness is chronic or acute, the result of disease or accident, couples can learn strategies for coping with the changes illness brings into our relationships and our worlds. The information provided in this blog is for educational and support purposes only. It should not be used as a substitute for seeking professional care.
3 Pieces of Advice
Once in a while, I get a phone call from someone who found my blog or an article I wrote or is a friend of a friend of a friend. She or her partner has been living with pain or...
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What Do You Do When Illness Makes Sex Impossible?
What do you do when your partner is no longer interested in or capable of sexual intimacy with you? Illness takes many tolls, on both partners. One of them is too often sexual intimacy. Medications, pain, and exhaustion can not...
Read MoreShort video about my own chronic pain condition, and it’s impact on my relationship with my husband.
This video was produced by Sutter Health to introduce me when I spoke at an internal conference
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Video excerpt from a talk I gave to cancer patients at Stanford Hospital
This talk is 52 minutes long. In this two-minute segment, I talk about how illness becomes the third partner in a relationship.
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What does a health catastrophe in a couple have in common with an earthquake that destroys much of San Francisco? Hint: It has to do with the power of love.
Listen to this conversation moderated by my co-author, Roanne Weisman, with novelist Lucy Jane Bledsoe and me about the intersection of love and obligation when disaster hits home.
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Your Partner’s Face
As I climb back out of a recent pain relapse, my husband’s face has become even more important to me. It’s more than the face of a morning greeting or an offer to pick up Chinese take out on his...
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To Talk or Not to Talk
Illness is such a thief. It can take away so much of what we consider vital. It can take away the peace that comes from taking the ordinary for granted. It can steal intimacy. Illness depletes, but it also deposits....
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Special Photos of a Couple Living with Cancer
Special Photos of a Couple Living with Cancer Wonderful photographs done by Nancy Borowick of her two parents both diagnosed with cancer, as they go through treatments and daily life, side-by-side. These touching photos document the sadness, the closeness,...
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Asking for Help
Long ago I made a deal with my body that only one thing could go wrong at a time. In exchange, I would do my best to take care of my body by eating well, exercising regularly, and taking a...
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The Downs and the Ups
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. Usually when I go into silent running mode it means I am having a massive pain relapse and all my attention is dedicated to trying to stay one nano-step ahead of the...
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Barbara Kivowitz
In November, 1999 I was whacked with a mysterious chronic pain syndrome that took me out of my life. With the help of my husband, my dog, and a combination of western and alternative approaches, I have a new life that includes working, writing, mountain climbing, smiling, and managing pain. In 2013 I became caregiver to my husband when he had open heart surgery. I learned a lot along the way, especially about illness and the couple relationship. I'm also a psychotherapist, a business consultant, and have written this book.
