A guide for couples living with illness and the people who help them. Buy the book Scroll down ….
What happens when illness strikes?
When you fell in love, what were you thinking? Perhaps you weren’t thinking very much at all, because you were swept away by passion, romance, chemistry, and the promise of a joyful future with your loved one by your side. You and your partner may have pledged privately, or in front of witnesses, to love and honor each other “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” In all likelihood, however, neither of you gave much thought to the “for worse” or “in sickness” parts of that loving contract. And who could blame you? When you’re in love and in life, why imagine darker possibilities?
When one of you gets sick or injured, two lives are dislocated.
However, things do not always go as we plan. One day, amid the comforting chaos of daily life, something may happen—or perhaps something has already happened: A frightening diagnosis, a sudden injury, or the unexpected deterioration of a chronic condition. Your world falls off its axis. You and your partner must adapt your relationship to this new reality:
- How do you make space for the illness without letting the illness take over your lives?
- Who takes care of whom now?
- How do you manage when your roles shift from those of equal partners to patient and caregiver?
- How do you hold onto love — emotionally and physically?How do you deal with the maze of medical, legal, and financial decisions?
- What about home care? Or nursing home?And, most importantly, how do you find comfort and hope?
Love in the time of Chronic Illness is a guide for couples living at the intersection of illness, love, and obligation.
You will meet:
- Couples who share their stories of living with illness
- Experts who offer advice about how to cope well
Love in the Time of Chronic Illness will help you find yourselves again and grow stronger, individually and as a couple. As one expert told us, “There is no false hope. There is only hope.” And in that hope you will find help, and even healing.
Praise for the Book
Daniel B. Carr, Director, Tufts Program on Pain Research, Education, and Policy
Patients, families, and effective practitioners know that disrupted social, family and spousal relationships are at the core of the experience of illness. Recovery cannot occur without healing these relationships. This practical guide helps couples and providers of patient centered care place patients and their loved ones at the center of a successful healing process.
Carolyn Bernstein, MD, Clinical Director, Harvard Medical Faculty, Physicians Comprehensive Headache Center
This book deconstructs the profound effect that illness has on a relationship, an uses stories and personal sagas that allow the reader to identify with the experience. It offers ideas and illustrations to help couples in finding resilience within their relationships. The bookers both holding and empowering.
Ayis Antoniou, Administrative Director, Wyss Institute at Harvard for Biologically Inspired Engineering
Using stories of real couples the authors take the reader on a moving and inspirational journey exploring the trials and triumphs a couples face when disaster strikes. There are no easy answers and the authors do not sugarcoat the harsh realities, yet the ultimate messages is one of hope. Thought-provoking and artfully crafted, this book addresses and oft-neglected reality of our lives.
Meet the Authors
Barbara Kivowitz, MSW (left), in her consulting practice works with health care organizations to help them develop their innovation and collaboration capabilities and to deliver more patient and family focused care. She developed programs for Stanford Health Care and Stanford Medical School to teach clinicians strategies for supporting the patient/caregiver relationship. She has also spoken on this topic to patients/caregivers and to professional groups at Massachusetts General Hospital, Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, UCSF Comprehensive Cancer Center, and to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. She also worked with Vermont on the implementation of their statewide, health reform initiative, and helped a large health care system learn to use technology to work more collaboratively. She was on the Board of Trustees of Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates and is on the Board of Overseers of the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. In her prior career she was a clinical psychotherapist in both community and hospital settings. She worked with many couples and families dealing with difficult issues, including illness, and she consulted to a hospice program. She has also authored articles on couples and illness for popular and clinical publications and has a widely read blog on this topic. Her background is in the fields of organizational development and psychology. She speaks four languages and holds graduate degrees from Simmons College and Harvard University. Roanne Weisman (right) is an award-winning author specializing in science, medicine, and healthcare. Since 1985, she has been providing institutional advancement communication services to medical, academic, and corporate clients, including most of the teaching hospitals of Harvard Medical School. She is principal author, with Brian Berman, MD, of Own Your Health: Choosing the best from alternative and conventional medicine. (Health Communications/HCI Books, 2003). This book — called “a solid reference book…a first-rate guide” by Publisher’s Weekly — received a Bronze Book-of-the-year Award from Foreword Magazine, and was nominated as finalist for a 2004 Nautilus Book Award. Roanne has co-authored several other consumer health books with physicians, including two jointly published by Harvard Medical School and McGraw-Hill. Awards for these books include a 2008 “Excellent Product of the Year Award” from iParenting Media; “Best Consumer Health Book for 2008” (Library Journal); and the 2010 Bronze award from the 17th annual National Health Information Awards. Two of her academic institution publications won national gold medals for writing and design from the Council for Advancement and Support of Education. Her website is www.TheWriteWayToHealth.com . Roanne’s feature stories have appeared in periodicals such as Body + Soul Magazine, Alternative Medicine Magazine, Country Living Magazine, and Prevention Magazine, as well as in Pulse, the magazine of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, and in the Massachusetts General Hospital Magazine. Roanne holds a Master of Social Work with Advanced Standing from Boston University and a Bachelor of Social Work, Magna cum Laude, from McGill University. She is a member of the National Association of Science Writers, New England Science Writers, and the Authors Guild. A native of Montreal, she holds dual American/Canadian citizenships and is fluent in French.
